2 Ideas on rapport that helps create the basis of instant rapport:
1) People who like each other like each other
2) Understanding The components of Communication
Based on studies, communication is affected by:
7% - Words
38% - Tonality
55% - Physiology
This means that main communication is through physiology
The way to build instant rapport is to mirror ones' physiology, tonality and words.
Physiologically, these are the areas we can "match" and "mirror":
1) Posture
2) Gestures
3) Facial Expression/ Blink Rate
4) Breathing Rate and Location
The difference between mirroring and matching is when we mirror someone, we become a mirror image. So if the person raise his right hand, we raise our left.
But in matching, we raise our right hands just as he/she does.
Mirroring is at a much deeper unconcious rapport, so much so that the person may agree with you so much so that they cannot even remember.
Tonality
1) Pitch of voice
Raise your pitch but not to the point it seems that you are mimicking
2) Tempo/ Rate of Speech
Match the rate of speed.
3) The Temble or Quality of voice
If the voice is clear or not so clear
4) Volume of voice
Loud or quiet
In matching Tonality, we can just match the last 3 or 4 words they say.
Words
1) Preticates
2) Key Words
E.g. Some of my friends like to say ,"Hey bro!" By matching "Hey Bro" back, we create an instant rapport. This is one area we can quickly practice.
3) Common Experiences
4) Content Chunks
So how do we know that we have been successful in creating unconcious rapport?
There are 4 indicators in which we can use to judge if we have successful created rapport:
1) The feeling inside ourselves.
If we get a feeling of familiarity, this is one indicator that we have been successful.
2) Shifting in Skin Color of other party.
One possible shift will be from lighter skin color to darker skin color.
3) When the other party say something to indicator he/she feels familiarity with you
4) When you lead and they follow.
So for example, after mirroring for some time, you cross your legs and they follow, it shows that we have been successful!
My Life, My Dream, My Destiny
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sensory Accuity - Based Skill
What is sensory accuity?
There are 2 aspect of it:
1st - The ability to notice if you are getting the results you want based on your actions.
2nd - Ability to notice if your communication is effective or not.
There are 5 areas where we can collect sensory data from a person. In this segment of mastery, we do not give meaning (Mind Reading) to any of these symptons. We just take them as sensory data.
1) Skin Color
We will first notice if a person's skin color is getting lighter or darker. A way to make it simplier is to imaginethe person to be in black and white and just notice if there skin color is gettng lighter or darker.
2) Skin Toneness
In this area, we notice if the skin is getting more shiny or less shiny. When the muscle is tight, the skin gets more shiny and vice versa.
3) Breathing
By noticing breathing, we look out for
- Rate of Breathing (Fast of Slow)
- Location of Breathing (From Chest or Stomach)
4) Lower Lips Size
The size of ones' lower lips changes from time to time, from fat to thin and the other way round.
In order to judge, it will be to look and see if the lines of the lower lips are visible.
If it is visible, the lips are thick.
5) Eyes
The windows of our soul right? Here we notice if:
- The eyes are focused of defocused
- Whether pupil are diliated.
Remember, as of now, we do not make any assumption, but just collect these data as sensory data.
Personally, i am going to start practice noticing and become a master in this area.
There are 2 aspect of it:
1st - The ability to notice if you are getting the results you want based on your actions.
2nd - Ability to notice if your communication is effective or not.
There are 5 areas where we can collect sensory data from a person. In this segment of mastery, we do not give meaning (Mind Reading) to any of these symptons. We just take them as sensory data.
1) Skin Color
We will first notice if a person's skin color is getting lighter or darker. A way to make it simplier is to imaginethe person to be in black and white and just notice if there skin color is gettng lighter or darker.
2) Skin Toneness
In this area, we notice if the skin is getting more shiny or less shiny. When the muscle is tight, the skin gets more shiny and vice versa.
3) Breathing
By noticing breathing, we look out for
- Rate of Breathing (Fast of Slow)
- Location of Breathing (From Chest or Stomach)
4) Lower Lips Size
The size of ones' lower lips changes from time to time, from fat to thin and the other way round.
In order to judge, it will be to look and see if the lines of the lower lips are visible.
If it is visible, the lips are thick.
5) Eyes
The windows of our soul right? Here we notice if:
- The eyes are focused of defocused
- Whether pupil are diliated.
Remember, as of now, we do not make any assumption, but just collect these data as sensory data.
Personally, i am going to start practice noticing and become a master in this area.
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Pre-Suppositions of NLP
In NLP, there are some Presuppositions or in lay man's terms, assumptions that we adopt. This will enable us to have the ability to become more effective in helping people if we choose these assumptions or we can call them "beliefs"
These are the presuppositions:
1)Respect others' model of the world
What this really means is that all of us see things perceive things differently. Instead of trying to force your point across to others, we should understand their point of view and from there allow the other person to see yours.
2) Resistance of another individual is a sign of lack of rapport
Almost everyone needs someone, but if they show resistance, it may appear that they do not want help or connection, rather it is a lack of rapport. In order to reach into someone, building rapport is essential. In NLP, there are some techniques to equip us with the skill to build rapport with people.
3) People are not behavior.
This is helpful when someone's behavour is disturbing to you. It tells you that this is just one behaviour the person adopt in the particular moment in that situation. who he/she is, is more than what they are displaying.
4) Everyone is doing their best with their available resources
It frustrates me to see excellent people leaving a mediocre life. And this presuposition helps me by telling me that these people are out of reach for certain resources which i can come in and help them realise.
5) The map is not the territory
This is very often used. It means that what we think is the reality may not be so, but rather what we choose to believe the truth to be.
More on this later.
6) We are in charge of our mind and therefore our results.
I really the following pharse becomes it makes so much sense
Reap a thought, sow an action
Reap an action, sow a habit,
Reap a habit, sow your character
Reap your character and you sow your destiny.
Everthing action begins from a thought and every action produce results. So we start by controlling our mind, which will ulitmately leads us to a destiny of our choice.
7) People have all the resources they need to succeed.
This doesn't necessary mean that they are in touch with these resources yet though.
8) All NLP procedures should have "wholeness"
This is particularly applicable to me. There are so many internal conflicts in my life. When i am woking, i think of my family, when i am with my family, i think of working harder...
So NLP processes is used to help us integrate these different parts of us.
9) There is no failure, there is only feedback
Seriously, what is failure? Failure is not even taking part of giving up. As long as we keep doing and improving, what is going to happen? We are going to get closer to what we want isn't it?
10) The meaning of the comunication is the response we get
We may think that we communicate very effectively and how on earth could this guy actually misinterpret? Well, the response we get is what we meant. It is also a feedback!
11) The person with more behavioral flexibility controls the system
Isn't this true? Once you become predictable, people control you like a chess game with predictable moves. But when you are unpredictabe and flexible, you control the game.
12) All procedures are designed to increase choice.
NLP is a process to give people more choices. Most people think that they do not have choices, thats why they are stuck in the current job, current physical state, current financial situation, current relationship status, NLP is designed to help create possibilities and choices.
So these are the presupossitions that NLP practitoners operate from. In fact, it will be useful for anyone to adopt any of these presuppossitions you find true and useful and you will see how your actions will changes which will ultimately change your results.
These are the presuppositions:
1)Respect others' model of the world
What this really means is that all of us see things perceive things differently. Instead of trying to force your point across to others, we should understand their point of view and from there allow the other person to see yours.
2) Resistance of another individual is a sign of lack of rapport
Almost everyone needs someone, but if they show resistance, it may appear that they do not want help or connection, rather it is a lack of rapport. In order to reach into someone, building rapport is essential. In NLP, there are some techniques to equip us with the skill to build rapport with people.
3) People are not behavior.
This is helpful when someone's behavour is disturbing to you. It tells you that this is just one behaviour the person adopt in the particular moment in that situation. who he/she is, is more than what they are displaying.
4) Everyone is doing their best with their available resources
It frustrates me to see excellent people leaving a mediocre life. And this presuposition helps me by telling me that these people are out of reach for certain resources which i can come in and help them realise.
5) The map is not the territory
This is very often used. It means that what we think is the reality may not be so, but rather what we choose to believe the truth to be.
6) We are in charge of our mind and therefore our results.
I really the following pharse becomes it makes so much sense
Reap a thought, sow an action
Reap an action, sow a habit,
Reap a habit, sow your character
Reap your character and you sow your destiny.
Everthing action begins from a thought and every action produce results. So we start by controlling our mind, which will ulitmately leads us to a destiny of our choice.
7) People have all the resources they need to succeed.
This doesn't necessary mean that they are in touch with these resources yet though.
8) All NLP procedures should have "wholeness"
This is particularly applicable to me. There are so many internal conflicts in my life. When i am woking, i think of my family, when i am with my family, i think of working harder...
So NLP processes is used to help us integrate these different parts of us.
9) There is no failure, there is only feedback
Seriously, what is failure? Failure is not even taking part of giving up. As long as we keep doing and improving, what is going to happen? We are going to get closer to what we want isn't it?
10) The meaning of the comunication is the response we get
We may think that we communicate very effectively and how on earth could this guy actually misinterpret? Well, the response we get is what we meant. It is also a feedback!
11) The person with more behavioral flexibility controls the system
Isn't this true? Once you become predictable, people control you like a chess game with predictable moves. But when you are unpredictabe and flexible, you control the game.
12) All procedures are designed to increase choice.
NLP is a process to give people more choices. Most people think that they do not have choices, thats why they are stuck in the current job, current physical state, current financial situation, current relationship status, NLP is designed to help create possibilities and choices.
So these are the presupossitions that NLP practitoners operate from. In fact, it will be useful for anyone to adopt any of these presuppossitions you find true and useful and you will see how your actions will changes which will ultimately change your results.
5 Principles of Success in NLP
Thee are 5 principles of success derived from the traditional NLP teachings which is relevant up to today.
1) Know Your Outcome
Seems obvious isn't it? But the thing is most people do not know what they want. But most people want what they don't want. "We don't want our current job, our current boss, our current physical health, the piling debts etc."
Well, knowing what we do not want is actually a good first step, from there we will be able to derive what we really want.
So why is it important to know what we want?
Think about it, if we only know what we do not want, we are always running away from things. But if we do not know what we want, we are running away in a random direction. So chances are we will run to a place we may not want again.
But if we do know what we want, we can run towards that direction. Does it make sense?
2) Take Action
Ah ha! Feeling guilty already? Maybe, maybe not. People who know what they want, may not take action!!!
Why? Well, from my experience, it starts from some lousy beliefs... Listen and see if these sound familiar...
"Well, I got to be realistic... I got to pay my bills." "I will never be like him/her, they are born lucky with xxx talent or resouces..."
These are some of the internal conversation people have inside them EVERYDAY!
We will touch more on beliefs in a while. For now, understand that without actions, there will be no results! You already know that don't you?
3) Sensory Awareness: Know if you are getting results from your Actions!
We got to be aware if what we are doing is working or now. Some times, we just choose a particular action or strategy aiming for a particular goal and we become so engross in the stratgey that we forgot we what we want.
Remember a time you went dating with someone you love with the outcome of spending quality time? But along the way, the dating process didn't really work out and you become so engross with making it right that you forgot about the "quality time" outcome? So we got to be acute, or sharp with whether our actions are producing the results we want or not.
4) Behaviour Flexibility
What this really means is that once we are aware of the results of actions, we should change our behaviour or action until we achieve the results we want.
An expert in this area is a man named Thomas Edition. If he had not been an expert in this, we will probably be reading using candles...
5) Operate from physiology and psychology of Excellence
Sounds like a whole load of jargons! Do you ever remember a time when you wake up feeling lousy? For some, this feeling is recent!
But aren't there times you feel great waking up. Like when you are going for a holiday of your dreams?
These 2 different "states" do affect our ability to produce results, you would agree wouldn't you.
Imagine going for a presentation or even a date in a lousy "state". Compare this to entering the presentation room in a powerful, confident "state". In most cases, my gies would be that we all prefer to be in a great state and chances of getting the results we want in these states are much higher...
In NLP, state management is one fun and exicting area that we will touch on later.
So there we have the 5 principles of success. It has evolved since the beginning of times, and personally, i have no qualms about these issues, as long as it produce results and help empower people who use it.
1) Know Your Outcome
Seems obvious isn't it? But the thing is most people do not know what they want. But most people want what they don't want. "We don't want our current job, our current boss, our current physical health, the piling debts etc."
Well, knowing what we do not want is actually a good first step, from there we will be able to derive what we really want.
So why is it important to know what we want?
Think about it, if we only know what we do not want, we are always running away from things. But if we do not know what we want, we are running away in a random direction. So chances are we will run to a place we may not want again.
But if we do know what we want, we can run towards that direction. Does it make sense?
2) Take Action
Ah ha! Feeling guilty already? Maybe, maybe not. People who know what they want, may not take action!!!
Why? Well, from my experience, it starts from some lousy beliefs... Listen and see if these sound familiar...
"Well, I got to be realistic... I got to pay my bills." "I will never be like him/her, they are born lucky with xxx talent or resouces..."
These are some of the internal conversation people have inside them EVERYDAY!
We will touch more on beliefs in a while. For now, understand that without actions, there will be no results! You already know that don't you?
3) Sensory Awareness: Know if you are getting results from your Actions!
We got to be aware if what we are doing is working or now. Some times, we just choose a particular action or strategy aiming for a particular goal and we become so engross in the stratgey that we forgot we what we want.
Remember a time you went dating with someone you love with the outcome of spending quality time? But along the way, the dating process didn't really work out and you become so engross with making it right that you forgot about the "quality time" outcome? So we got to be acute, or sharp with whether our actions are producing the results we want or not.
4) Behaviour Flexibility
What this really means is that once we are aware of the results of actions, we should change our behaviour or action until we achieve the results we want.
An expert in this area is a man named Thomas Edition. If he had not been an expert in this, we will probably be reading using candles...
5) Operate from physiology and psychology of Excellence
Sounds like a whole load of jargons! Do you ever remember a time when you wake up feeling lousy? For some, this feeling is recent!
But aren't there times you feel great waking up. Like when you are going for a holiday of your dreams?
These 2 different "states" do affect our ability to produce results, you would agree wouldn't you.
Imagine going for a presentation or even a date in a lousy "state". Compare this to entering the presentation room in a powerful, confident "state". In most cases, my gies would be that we all prefer to be in a great state and chances of getting the results we want in these states are much higher...
In NLP, state management is one fun and exicting area that we will touch on later.
So there we have the 5 principles of success. It has evolved since the beginning of times, and personally, i have no qualms about these issues, as long as it produce results and help empower people who use it.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
How to Achieve Passive Income
The idea of passive income refers to income to comes to us even when we are passive. This is in constrast to being "active", meaning to say we have to go out there and work for it.
So, what are some ways to create passive income?
For most people, putting in a bank and receive the 1.75% is the only source of passive income.
If this is so, chances are you have a low chance fo becoing financially free.
For e.g. if you need $3000 per month to sustan your current lifestyle, you will need = 3000 X 12 = $36000 per year.
So in order to get $36,000 per year @ a 1.75% interest rate, you will need = 36000/0.0175 = $2,057,142.
Well, it is of course, not impossible, but it may take a long time.
Here are some ways to achieve passive income faster:
1)Investing
2)Writing options
3)Trading
4)Rental Income via Real Estate
5)Income from intellectual property
6) Internet Business
7) Blick and Mortar Business
8) NetWork marketing
So, what are some ways to create passive income?
For most people, putting in a bank and receive the 1.75% is the only source of passive income.
If this is so, chances are you have a low chance fo becoing financially free.
For e.g. if you need $3000 per month to sustan your current lifestyle, you will need = 3000 X 12 = $36000 per year.
So in order to get $36,000 per year @ a 1.75% interest rate, you will need = 36000/0.0175 = $2,057,142.
Well, it is of course, not impossible, but it may take a long time.
Here are some ways to achieve passive income faster:
1)Investing
2)Writing options
3)Trading
4)Rental Income via Real Estate
5)Income from intellectual property
6) Internet Business
7) Blick and Mortar Business
8) NetWork marketing
Play Theraphy with the Child (Activities)
Come to think of it, the full tme job of a child is play.
So as a parent, to build bond with your child, the best way is probably by becomng his/her "collegue"...
So lets find out more about "play theraphy", the benefits and what are some activities we as parents can do with our children.
Here are some benefits of playing:
1) Reduce Stress
2) Teaches child social awareness
3) Provides Physical Exercise for the child
4) Simulates Creativity and Problem Solving
Some activities
1) Motor Skills
Art and craft (using scissors, drawing, painting, puzzles etc.)
2)Building Activities
Wooden Blocks, legos, cars etc
3) Transportation
Riding, cycling, skating
4) Music
Songs, dance, instrument
5)Fantsay Play
Toys, figurines
6) Nurturing Play
Role Play, imitating
7) Gross Motor activities
Soccer, throwing bean bag, softball
8) Animals
Plat fetchm careful rough horsing
9)Hobbies
Science, collecting
10) Board Games
11) Solitary Play
Pencil and paper, ,mazes
12) Social Play
Play with other children
It will be my goal to spend 15min of quality time and i can use this list to give me inout when i run out of ideas.
So as a parent, to build bond with your child, the best way is probably by becomng his/her "collegue"...
So lets find out more about "play theraphy", the benefits and what are some activities we as parents can do with our children.
Here are some benefits of playing:
1) Reduce Stress
2) Teaches child social awareness
3) Provides Physical Exercise for the child
4) Simulates Creativity and Problem Solving
Some activities
1) Motor Skills
Art and craft (using scissors, drawing, painting, puzzles etc.)
2)Building Activities
Wooden Blocks, legos, cars etc
3) Transportation
Riding, cycling, skating
4) Music
Songs, dance, instrument
5)Fantsay Play
Toys, figurines
6) Nurturing Play
Role Play, imitating
7) Gross Motor activities
Soccer, throwing bean bag, softball
8) Animals
Plat fetchm careful rough horsing
9)Hobbies
Science, collecting
10) Board Games
11) Solitary Play
Pencil and paper, ,mazes
12) Social Play
Play with other children
It will be my goal to spend 15min of quality time and i can use this list to give me inout when i run out of ideas.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Trading Rules
Below are my trading rules and plan which you can freely adopt, however, it is more of discretionary than mechanical (i will post some mechanical rules in my next few posts)
1)Check Upcoming News @ http://www.forexfactory.com/
- This is used more as defence, mainly to avoid unpredictable major annoucements which may cause big moves
- This can also be used to ride the reaction after the news. A possible break up trade.
2) Check Weekly, Daily and 4hr chart to decide on the main direction i will trade
Bullish when:
- Price Above Moving Average
- Moving Average moving up
- MACD Histogram turing positive
Bearish when:
- Price below MA
- MA moving down
- MACD Histogram turning negative
3) One direction is decided, look for opportunity to ride the wave using:
3a) Reversal Technique:
- Candle Sticks touches either (Support/ Resistance, Fibonacci lines, Pivot Points, Trendlines)
- Candle Sticks patterns
- Slow Stochastic overbought/ oversold
- MACD bullish/ Bearish
3b) Breakout Technique
- Breakout from support or resistance of last high/low
- Slow Stochastic overbought/ oversold
- MACD bullish/ Bearish
Initial Stop based on technicals (Risk to Reward must be more than 1)
Profit Exit based on either TP or Trailing Stop
Money Management rules: Risk no more than 2% of capital.
(Will take 2 positions of 1% risk each, one aiming for TP, one aiming to ride)
1)Check Upcoming News @ http://www.forexfactory.com/
- This is used more as defence, mainly to avoid unpredictable major annoucements which may cause big moves
- This can also be used to ride the reaction after the news. A possible break up trade.
2) Check Weekly, Daily and 4hr chart to decide on the main direction i will trade
Bullish when:
- Price Above Moving Average
- Moving Average moving up
- MACD Histogram turing positive
Bearish when:
- Price below MA
- MA moving down
- MACD Histogram turning negative
3) One direction is decided, look for opportunity to ride the wave using:
3a) Reversal Technique:
- Candle Sticks touches either (Support/ Resistance, Fibonacci lines, Pivot Points, Trendlines)
- Candle Sticks patterns
- Slow Stochastic overbought/ oversold
- MACD bullish/ Bearish
3b) Breakout Technique
- Breakout from support or resistance of last high/low
- Slow Stochastic overbought/ oversold
- MACD bullish/ Bearish
Initial Stop based on technicals (Risk to Reward must be more than 1)
Profit Exit based on either TP or Trailing Stop
Money Management rules: Risk no more than 2% of capital.
(Will take 2 positions of 1% risk each, one aiming for TP, one aiming to ride)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Advice from Greeksman on my trade
Sean,
Based on what I saw on your chart (a 30 min chart), for this type of BOT (Break-out trade), and imgaine if I were to take on this trade, I may use risk/reward of 1:1 to go in.
I roughly saw the SL be round 65 pips, and thus my first PT will be around 1.3550.
After this, I will exit half of my position, and move the rest to breakeven.
Another way is to set PT to be say 35 pips (65/2 rounded up), and if this is hit, I will exit half of my position, and guarantee a risk free trade no matter what by moving the rest to breakeven.
Either way, I believe is doable.
Now, here is my additional $0.02 as to why I trade not just based on technical but also fundamental.
We all know FOMC interest rate annoncement to be at 2:15am EST (just a few hours later). So, since there is an expection of at least 50BPS rate cut, USD by right will be sold off before annoucement.
If you are trading EUR/USD or even GBP/USD, you should expect both currency pair to go up. This is the time whereby I will rather pick EUR/USD and GBP/USD than EUR/JPY and GBP/JPY because USD is weaker than JPY and thus, trading currency pair is better than carry trade pair.
With this expectation, I may want to ride on the trend if it is going to be strong.
So, this is where the stop for the remaining position becomes tricky.
Since you are trading a 30 mins chart, you may wish to consider using 1 bar reversal or 3-bar reversal depending on your risk tolerance.
When you are getting more advanced, you may consider using not even lots but triple lots. The last run is the real "home run" and wow, once a while you can really laugh to the bank.
Well, I don't think I should go into that kind of details at this point.
However, these are the things as a professional forex trader I would consider when deciding:
1. Which pair to trade - normal pair or cross or carry trade pair (fundamental outlook)
2. When to get in and what kind of stops I am looking at (lot size and money management)
3. When to get out (in case the market gives me a home run and I will eat it).
Good luck!
Based on what I saw on your chart (a 30 min chart), for this type of BOT (Break-out trade), and imgaine if I were to take on this trade, I may use risk/reward of 1:1 to go in.
I roughly saw the SL be round 65 pips, and thus my first PT will be around 1.3550.
After this, I will exit half of my position, and move the rest to breakeven.
Another way is to set PT to be say 35 pips (65/2 rounded up), and if this is hit, I will exit half of my position, and guarantee a risk free trade no matter what by moving the rest to breakeven.
Either way, I believe is doable.
Now, here is my additional $0.02 as to why I trade not just based on technical but also fundamental.
We all know FOMC interest rate annoncement to be at 2:15am EST (just a few hours later). So, since there is an expection of at least 50BPS rate cut, USD by right will be sold off before annoucement.
If you are trading EUR/USD or even GBP/USD, you should expect both currency pair to go up. This is the time whereby I will rather pick EUR/USD and GBP/USD than EUR/JPY and GBP/JPY because USD is weaker than JPY and thus, trading currency pair is better than carry trade pair.
With this expectation, I may want to ride on the trend if it is going to be strong.
So, this is where the stop for the remaining position becomes tricky.
Since you are trading a 30 mins chart, you may wish to consider using 1 bar reversal or 3-bar reversal depending on your risk tolerance.
When you are getting more advanced, you may consider using not even lots but triple lots. The last run is the real "home run" and wow, once a while you can really laugh to the bank.
Well, I don't think I should go into that kind of details at this point.
However, these are the things as a professional forex trader I would consider when deciding:
1. Which pair to trade - normal pair or cross or carry trade pair (fundamental outlook)
2. When to get in and what kind of stops I am looking at (lot size and money management)
3. When to get out (in case the market gives me a home run and I will eat it).
Good luck!
Teaching My Son the Joy of Giving
Today, my wife and i had an idea.
It was the last session of shicida class for our son Tian Le and since it was near to Christma
s, we decided to prepare some presents for him to give to his classmates and sensei.
When he gave the present out, we could see the amount of joy he received as the adults around smiled at him and praise him.
This will be one of our first attempts to link pleasure to giving and sharing for him.
Imagine him growing up to be a helpful and generous person. It will create a life that endears him to many and the amount of respect and love he develops for people around will also escalate.
It was the last session of shicida class for our son Tian Le and since it was near to Christma
s, we decided to prepare some presents for him to give to his classmates and sensei.When he gave the present out, we could see the amount of joy he received as the adults around smiled at him and praise him.
This will be one of our first attempts to link pleasure to giving and sharing for him.
Imagine him growing up to be a helpful and generous person. It will create a life that endears him to many and the amount of respect and love he develops for people around will also escalate.
Love Strategies
The Paradigm of love is such an essential idea that everyone of us should know, regardless if we are in a relationship wiht our spouse, children. parents, friends, neighbours or even enemy.Well, the bible did not "suggest" that we love, but it commands us to love, so we do not really have a choice do we?
The question is, how do we love?
Love is a feeling that needs to be expressed effectively, otherwise it may be misunderstood. I mean, how often do we feel the lack of love from someone we love but later at a more resourceful state, we think back and realise that the things they did for us are done out of love. But why do we not appreciate them on the spot?
From my study into this subject i realise 2 things that may have affected this difference in paradigm:
1) Our learning styles - VAK (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic)
2) Our rules for Love.
Our Learning style affects the way our mind learns or process the information. Each of us learn better either Visually, by Audio, by Kinesthetic (doing, physical) or a combination of all.
What has this got to do with love? It is relevant because we need to learn that the specific actions or word we are receiving is a sign of love.
Let me explain further: For example i am a kinesthetic person and my wife is a auditory person. So she feels love when she hears me say,"I Love You" but i, being a kinesthetic person prefers to show love by doing things for her. What will happen?
I will keep making things, or doing things for her, or kiss her and hold her hands, but she is not able to learn that this is love. She learns best by hearing me express my love for her.
Understanding this idea, it may be better for me to say the words, "i love you" or even sing her a love song. I do hope this example helps.
Ok, but there is another step to it. Even if i say,"I love You!" it still may not work fully. Why? It brings us to my second point: Our rules for love.
Each of us have different rules for what is an expression of love. I mean, why do we feel love when someone comes up, place his/her lips which is filled with germs and unknown food partical to our lips? This isn't very logical is it?
The truth is, it makes sense to us because of our personal rules. And of course this may be influenced and shaped by the media, or culture etc.
I mean, i heard that in some places, the sign of ulitmate love for your parents is to EAT them before they pass away. This is so that they can live on in our bodies. How can this be LOVE? Well, think about it, that is their rules. What are yours?
So the first step to be able to effectively shpw your love is to find out what are the rules of the person you want to show love to.
This is likely to be closely tied to their learning style which is our first point.
In Gary Chapman's book, he suggested the 5 love languages which are namely:
1) Word of Affirmation (Audiotory)
2) Physical Touch (kinethestic)
3) Gifts (Visual)
4) Quality Time (could be a combination of all)
5) Acts of Service (more of visual rather than kinesthetic, as it requires the person to see the service done -my personal feel)
Well, these love languages may be a very good guideline to start with. Well, we need each of this in different amount, in different times.
So, my personal stratgey is have a love language of the week, where i find opportunity to use this love language to express my love and review after the action on the response and outcome.
Do test it out yourself!
Quality Time with My Son
I have been revieiwng my 2008 times and realised that I would like to spend more quality time with my son.
of course, everyone has different rules on what consitute quality time and my personal definition is would be that times where we either:
1) Build bond through shared activities.
2) Learning and Developing Together.
As such, my goal this year is to spend at least 15min of quality time everyday.
15min? that sound so litlle. To me, it is a way of getting me to start. f i were to set a goal say, 1hour everyday and i know that i do not have a hour, chances are that i will even start. But if i were to spend 15min, chances are i will always have 15min and this 15min will likely strecth to hours.
Personally, i am rather against watching TOO MUCH TV. From "Family First", one of the pledge the author had taken as a father struck me and it was this," I will not ALLOW the TV to babysit my children".
That is one of the faults i felt i had commited as i keep rushing from events to events and spend insufficient time with my son, loving and learning with him.
In my next post, i will come up with a list of activities which i deem as quality time with my son.
of course, everyone has different rules on what consitute quality time and my personal definition is would be that times where we either:
1) Build bond through shared activities.
2) Learning and Developing Together.
As such, my goal this year is to spend at least 15min of quality time everyday.
15min? that sound so litlle. To me, it is a way of getting me to start. f i were to set a goal say, 1hour everyday and i know that i do not have a hour, chances are that i will even start. But if i were to spend 15min, chances are i will always have 15min and this 15min will likely strecth to hours.
Personally, i am rather against watching TOO MUCH TV. From "Family First", one of the pledge the author had taken as a father struck me and it was this," I will not ALLOW the TV to babysit my children".
That is one of the faults i felt i had commited as i keep rushing from events to events and spend insufficient time with my son, loving and learning with him.
In my next post, i will come up with a list of activities which i deem as quality time with my son.
2009 Focused Goals
Below are the set of Specific Goals i am commited to achieve for 2009.
I used my personal method of S.O.A.R (Specific Results, Obstacles, Action Plan and Reason) to set these goals.
Spiritual Goals 2009
Specific Result
Complete Bible Reading in a Year
Count my Blessings Everyday
Pray Everyday
Weekly Bible Verse Sharing with Wife (Sundays)
Obstacles
Field camps
Solution: Bring bible and journal along in a waterproof bag
Action Plan
Get a journal
Print Bible Reading Plan – chunk it down
Communicate with wife this goal
Reason for Goal
Grow closer to God, let God be a partner in running my life
Understand God’s word better so I can live purposefully and I can share God’s love with people.
Physical Goals 2009
Specific Result
<10>Obstacles
Food, snacks
Field Camps
Solution:
Choose Healthier snacks - fruits
Eat lesser during meals to compensate for snacks
Action Plan
Exercise
- Gym 2 times per week
- Cardio Exercise (Run/ Cycle/ Swim) 2 times a week
- Pilates (To stretch and grow taller and leaner)
Nutrition
- 1 Cheat day per week only
- Eat lesser carbo and fats
- Choose healthier snack (incantation: Nothing taste as good as FIT)
Get a weekly monitoring chart
Reason for Goal
Look good for confidence
Look good to inspire soldiers, friends.
Got to take care of temple of God
Feel good for more energy to work towards other Goals
Family (Wife) Goals 2009
Specific Result
Grow Spiritual by sharing bible verse once a week
Grow in Relationship by dating once every fortnight
Grow physically by getting wife in a sport or exercise (Pilates) after her confinement period
Obstacles
House work
Children
Fieldcamps /SAF stuff
Solution:
Come up with a routine for house work
- Saturday Morning Weekly Cleaning
- Childcare centre/ Parents and in laws
Finish up SAF Stuff within 3 days whenever task is issued.
Action Plan
Print bible reading plan for wife
Fortnightly dating
- Show appreciation using 5 love language strategy
o Acts of Service (Massage/ Housework)
o Gifts (Small cards, flowers etc)
o Quality Time (Dating)
o Physical Touch (Massage)
o Words of Affirmation (Cards, SMS)
Start looking out for exercise that will interest wife
- Pilates
- Yoga
- Volleyball
Organise beach out party in July and Dec so she (and me) will be motivated to work out.
Reason for Goal
She is the most important person to me and I need to help her grow and also grow our relationship to be a fun loving and romantic one.
Family (Son) Goals 2009
Specific Result
Spend 15 min of quality focused time with son everyday I am home.
Read at least 1 book a month on how to be a better parent/ father and use at least one lesson learn.
Obstacles
Tired
Field Camps
Solution:
Get myself in State (think of missing him in Australia)
Compensate using OIL and weekends.
Action Plan
Prepare a list of activities to do with him
- Reading
- Sports
- Shicida Methods
o ESP
o Linking Memory
o Flash Cards
o Story Telling (Speed reading)
o Singing
o Alphabets
- Games
Reason for Goal
So that we will have a really great relationship.
I want to be his friend, mentor, coach.
Specific Result
Become a Trainer by Dec 2009
– Achieve Certified Professional Trainer Certificate
– Start Training as a Trainer by Dec 2009
Master NLP by Dec 2009
– Be NLP Master Practitioner Certified by Dec 2009
Obstacles
Time
SAF
Cost
Solution:
On Job Training
Start Giving Seminars in Camp
Use NLP on soldiers
Action Plan
Take Course
- ACTA
- Mastery Asia
- NLP
o Vasnath
o POE by AKLTG
- Start sending resume to training companies
Reason for Goal
To become a great communicator to share ideas and knowledge to empower people to live a great passionate life
Specific Result
Development financial muscles to create passive/non SAF income of $10k/month by Dec 2009
Obstacles
Time
SAF
Lack of Focus
Solution:
Magnifying glass theory
Time management
Action Plan
Trading
- Journal and Post Every Trade
- Follow Trading Plan – Trade Beautifully
- Daily Trading and Practice using Past Data
- Journal (Print Charts and Comments)
- Post Trades on Blog and Forum
- Weekly Analysis (On Saturday Morning)
Options Sales Strategy
• Sell CALL/ PUT based on Buffet’s Stocks
• Do monthly updates and research
• No impulse actions during trades – wait for options to expire
Trading Tuition
• AIM: $3500 per month ($700 X 5)
• Find a Place
• CC?
• Home Tuition?
• Send Pamphlet
• Letterbox
• House to House
• Cars
• Lifts
Spend 15 min of quality focused time with son everyday I am home.
Read at least 1 book a month on how to be a better parent/ father and use at least one lesson learn.
Obstacles
Tired
Field Camps
Solution:
Get myself in State (think of missing him in Australia)
Compensate using OIL and weekends.
Action Plan
Prepare a list of activities to do with him
- Reading
- Sports
- Shicida Methods
o ESP
o Linking Memory
o Flash Cards
o Story Telling (Speed reading)
o Singing
o Alphabets
- Games
Reason for Goal
So that we will have a really great relationship.
I want to be his friend, mentor, coach.
Personal Development Goals 2009
Specific Result
Become a Trainer by Dec 2009
– Achieve Certified Professional Trainer Certificate
– Start Training as a Trainer by Dec 2009
Master NLP by Dec 2009
– Be NLP Master Practitioner Certified by Dec 2009
Obstacles
Time
SAF
Cost
Solution:
On Job Training
Start Giving Seminars in Camp
Use NLP on soldiers
Action Plan
Take Course
- ACTA
- Mastery Asia
- NLP
o Vasnath
o POE by AKLTG
- Start sending resume to training companies
Reason for Goal
To become a great communicator to share ideas and knowledge to empower people to live a great passionate life
Financial Goals 2009
Specific Result
Development financial muscles to create passive/non SAF income of $10k/month by Dec 2009
Obstacles
Time
SAF
Lack of Focus
Solution:
Magnifying glass theory
Time management
Action Plan
Trading
- Journal and Post Every Trade
- Follow Trading Plan – Trade Beautifully
- Daily Trading and Practice using Past Data
- Journal (Print Charts and Comments)
- Post Trades on Blog and Forum
- Weekly Analysis (On Saturday Morning)
Options Sales Strategy
• Sell CALL/ PUT based on Buffet’s Stocks
• Do monthly updates and research
• No impulse actions during trades – wait for options to expire
Trading Tuition
• AIM: $3500 per month ($700 X 5)
• Find a Place
• CC?
• Home Tuition?
• Send Pamphlet
• Letterbox
• House to House
• Cars
• Lifts
Edu Biz
AIM: $3000 per month
Reason for Goal
I want the financial muscles to achieve Freedom and Abundance.
I want to achieve it at a young age (before 30 years old) so that I can have a lifestyle that is God and Family Center.
I want to achieve it fast so that I can give to my parents and in-laws so that they can enjoy life!
AIM: $3000 per month
Reason for Goal
I want the financial muscles to achieve Freedom and Abundance.
I want to achieve it at a young age (before 30 years old) so that I can have a lifestyle that is God and Family Center.
I want to achieve it fast so that I can give to my parents and in-laws so that they can enjoy life!
EUR/USD 151208
I have been back from my overseas exercise since 13th Nov and have been looking at charts everyday, but i just couldn't "pull the trigger" even when i saw potential trades... (even on virtual trades!!!)
Did i lost confidence, or was i getting more picky on my trades?
But as i read through Conrad's forum, i gotten back momentum and trade my first trade ever since i am back!
All the longer time frame chart (4hr, 1hr) showed obvious uptrend.
I set 2 similiar orders in BUYSTOP at 1.3500, which is slightly above the previous high and set a stop lost at 1.3425 which is the nearest support line.
Risk = 75 pipsReward = ?
When the trade went my way, I exited the first position at 1.3526 for a 26 pip profit and adjust the stop to 1.3517 which is the low of the 30min candle.I am not sure if i shoud have exited the first position, since i was risking 75 pips and exited only with 26 pips.. seems to be a lousy risk to reward ratio.
I got stop out when it hit my (manual) trailing stop.
Greeksman is right, i am laughing my way to the bank on this trade.
This is one of my best trades so far.
But the amount i win this time has got nothing to do with my skills, i just followed my rules and just ride the trend up.
Still felt that it was luck. Well, the trend seems to continue and who knows where it will head towards.
Pips Gained
From 1st Positon = 26 pips
From 2nd Position = 191 pips
But got to improve on my plan as suggested by Henry and Greeksman.
i Have yet to decide on a "timeframe" which i would trade.
I thought i just let it ride as far as possible (of course most trade dun turn out like this one).
And stop loss, i based it on technicals and reduce vol to fit 2% of my account. And was happy with my exit so far, but perhaps consider if i want to lossen my trailing stop so i can ride the trend further?
Did i lost confidence, or was i getting more picky on my trades?
But as i read through Conrad's forum, i gotten back momentum and trade my first trade ever since i am back!
All the longer time frame chart (4hr, 1hr) showed obvious uptrend.
I set 2 similiar orders in BUYSTOP at 1.3500, which is slightly above the previous high and set a stop lost at 1.3425 which is the nearest support line.
Risk = 75 pipsReward = ?
When the trade went my way, I exited the first position at 1.3526 for a 26 pip profit and adjust the stop to 1.3517 which is the low of the 30min candle.I am not sure if i shoud have exited the first position, since i was risking 75 pips and exited only with 26 pips.. seems to be a lousy risk to reward ratio.
I got stop out when it hit my (manual) trailing stop.Greeksman is right, i am laughing my way to the bank on this trade.
This is one of my best trades so far.
But the amount i win this time has got nothing to do with my skills, i just followed my rules and just ride the trend up.
Still felt that it was luck. Well, the trend seems to continue and who knows where it will head towards.
Pips Gained
From 1st Positon = 26 pips
From 2nd Position = 191 pips
But got to improve on my plan as suggested by Henry and Greeksman.
i Have yet to decide on a "timeframe" which i would trade.
I thought i just let it ride as far as possible (of course most trade dun turn out like this one).
And stop loss, i based it on technicals and reduce vol to fit 2% of my account. And was happy with my exit so far, but perhaps consider if i want to lossen my trailing stop so i can ride the trend further?
The Purpose of Blogging
Welcome Myself to This Blog!
The purpose of this blog is to RECORD and KEEP TRACK of my progress in pursuit of a life filled with Power and Passion.
When i say Power, i do not mean Power over others, but rather, Power over myself. This is really an adaptation of Tony Robbins' term, Personal Power.
I had devoted the past few years of my life, searching and living, a Life of Passion. To my close friends especially those who started this journey with me, it may not seems that i have achieved much yet, but i do believe in the Power of Dreams and i do believe that God loves me and wants nothing but the best for me.
I had recently reviewed my 2008 journal and i am so grateful for my life. I have learnt and gained so much and now i am in a better position to make even better distinctions on who i am, what i want and how i can be and contribute even more. This journey of life is a continuous process rather than one with a definite end point, so lets get ready, get set, and lets FLY and live a life of power and passion.
The purpose of this blog is to RECORD and KEEP TRACK of my progress in pursuit of a life filled with Power and Passion.
When i say Power, i do not mean Power over others, but rather, Power over myself. This is really an adaptation of Tony Robbins' term, Personal Power.
I had devoted the past few years of my life, searching and living, a Life of Passion. To my close friends especially those who started this journey with me, it may not seems that i have achieved much yet, but i do believe in the Power of Dreams and i do believe that God loves me and wants nothing but the best for me.
I had recently reviewed my 2008 journal and i am so grateful for my life. I have learnt and gained so much and now i am in a better position to make even better distinctions on who i am, what i want and how i can be and contribute even more. This journey of life is a continuous process rather than one with a definite end point, so lets get ready, get set, and lets FLY and live a life of power and passion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
